Happy Birthday, They Said...

So I have been silent on this wavelength for almost six months -- May 16 to November 10. While there is no contract between you and me about the frequency of the "frog musings" publication, I want to explain a few things.

The day before my last post, I had retired from my company after 26 years of (often hard) work for them. I needed some time to adapt to this radical change, but I never got a chance: three days after that last post, my husband started drinking again, after more than eleven years of sobriety, following a slow decline started in late 2008 and brought on by increasing pain from fibromyalgia.

The end of May and early June were a succession of shocks related to all this. He went to a treatment center in Atlanta, only to leave against medical advice within days. He went to another place -- and left. And on June 21, while drunk, he attempted suicide (and threatened to hurt me at one point) until I literally came to the point of subduing him physically with one hand while calling the police with the other hand to get him taken into protective custody.

Fast-forward to yesterday, November 10, glossing over a number of episodes of relapse, aborted treatments, various horrible scenes, etc., which largely account for my silence... and finally he checked himself, very reluctantly, into a world-renowned clinic in Houston that treats severe depression, including when associated with substance abuse.

It turns out that yesterday was also my birthday. Spending part of your birthday getting your partner into a medical facility isn't a great plan. But it was also, given the previous six months, the best present I could get from him -- even if he was essentially kicking and screaming all the way.

While I was waiting during his intake processing, I caught bits and pieces of a meeting the current patients were having, in which they took turns saying what was their "high for the day." It's a classical way to get people to focus on the positive instead of the negative. I completely failed to apply this to me then, but now I can see the point, and I can say this:

• So far, 44 people have wished me a happy birthday through Facebook, text messages, and phone calls (thanks, Sean and Jeffrey!). How lucky can one be?
• I was invited to go to the trivia game at a downtown pub with a group of people I know. They knew it was my birthday, they thought (incorrectly) I would have better things to do, I didn't, I showed up, and one of them (thanks, Sean No. 2!) bought my drinks and food. You guys are so freaking great!

So yes, it was a crummy birthday, but it was also a good day. It had all the elements for me to complain about things, or to decide that when handed lemons, I could make a lemonade. And in some modest way, I did.

Who knows what will happen next? I have no clue and I have suffered too much to be naively optimistic, but regardless, I am grateful for my friends' presence and support. I'll keep everyone posted. I hope it doesn't take another six months.